Consolidated Joke Thread

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vidmaster
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 18, 2021, 4:12 pm

Could happen 🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 18, 2021, 4:16 pm

We’ve all been there🥴🥴🥴🥴
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by Stantheman » April 18, 2021, 9:02 pm

IMG_20210418_085930.jpg
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 19, 2021, 4:02 pm

Oh yes
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by Barney » April 19, 2021, 4:11 pm

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 21, 2021, 12:05 am

Yep!!!
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by kopkei » April 23, 2021, 6:07 am

A Jewish mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
Nooo so what are you doing Sarale?" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, " Mama - I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, " Abba - I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"So Chaim what are you doing?" she exclaimed.
He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law." ;)

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by kopkei » April 23, 2021, 6:22 am

this morning when it was still half dark my wife went out, to scream waking up half the neighborhood ...
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meanwhile the culprit was hiding in the bushes
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 25, 2021, 4:20 am

Ahhhh
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 26, 2021, 4:04 pm

Ahhhhh
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 28, 2021, 3:31 am

Sorted
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » April 30, 2021, 2:59 pm

Well!!!!
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » May 4, 2021, 12:31 am

Ok
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » May 4, 2021, 2:33 am

Oh
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » May 5, 2021, 12:15 pm

Smile time 😎😎😎😎😎
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by stattointhailand » May 5, 2021, 10:37 pm

A man broke into Battersea Dogs home last night and released all the dogs ........

Police are desperately searching for leads

A Northern town has gone missing this morning

Police are searching for Leeds

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » May 6, 2021, 8:12 pm

Yep🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by tinpeeba » May 7, 2021, 7:27 pm

Last night my wife told me "You need to do more chores around the house."

I said "Can we change the subject?"

Wife said "Okay, more chores around the house need to be done by you."

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » May 7, 2021, 10:17 pm

Sorted
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by AlexO » May 9, 2021, 10:30 am

Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble....
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch and I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly...

'com-for-da-bul.'

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