Consolidated Joke Thread

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goodison
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by goodison » July 18, 2020, 1:24 pm

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

"Like sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing?" I asked.
(Talking about my “doing something useful” seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.)

She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to
the Senior Centre and hang out with the fellas.
So, I did, and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her.

I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 71-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"
The line went dead.

Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.



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747man
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » July 19, 2020, 1:54 pm

goodison wrote:
July 18, 2020, 1:24 pm
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

"Like sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing?" I asked.
(Talking about my “doing something useful” seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.)

She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to
the Senior Centre and hang out with the fellas.
So, I did, and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her.

I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 71-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"
The line went dead.

Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.
Good One Dave....... =D> =D> =D> :lol: :lol: :lol:

tinpeeba
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Location: London or Udon

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by tinpeeba » July 19, 2020, 1:56 pm

I ate a clock yesterday.
It was very time consuming.

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747man
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Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » July 19, 2020, 2:01 pm

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TAXIfor7/11
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by TAXIfor7/11 » July 20, 2020, 9:06 am

109779876_743668229754803_868760917607546210_o.jpg

Chuchi
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by Chuchi » September 12, 2020, 11:28 am

1599884759450.jpg

Doodoo
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Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by Doodoo » September 13, 2020, 10:42 am

Header recently at Mechanics shop

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

DuiDui49
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An expat reacts to Vietnam’s new visa rule..

Post by DuiDui49 » September 14, 2020, 3:03 pm

..maybe same as expats reacts to Visa rules in Thailand..

https://youtu.be/nJwBvjXY3cw
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//DuiDui
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