Consolidated Joke Thread
Re: Consolidated Jokes
1.You'll be delighted to know that alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean: against tables, chairs, floors, walls and people.
2. Remember, an alcoholic and a drunk are not the same thing at all. The alcoholic has to attend meetings.
6. Booze is the answer, but I don't remember the question.
3.Richard comes home from a night of drinking. As he stumbles through the front door, his wife snaps at him, 'What's the big idea coming home half drunk?'
He replies, slurring, 'I'm sorry honey. I ran out of money.'
4.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
5.An amnesiac walks into an inn and asks the barman, 'Do I come here often?'
2. Remember, an alcoholic and a drunk are not the same thing at all. The alcoholic has to attend meetings.
6. Booze is the answer, but I don't remember the question.
3.Richard comes home from a night of drinking. As he stumbles through the front door, his wife snaps at him, 'What's the big idea coming home half drunk?'
He replies, slurring, 'I'm sorry honey. I ran out of money.'
4.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
5.An amnesiac walks into an inn and asks the barman, 'Do I come here often?'
Re: Consolidated Jokes
So, a Scotsman an Irishman and a Welshman are in a bar when a Kiwi walks in...
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Corbyn & Abbot !!!
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
The new Brexit advent calendar is now available from Amazon ..... It's exactly the same as a regular advent calendar except all the windows are boarded up.
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
The UK has opted for a rare December general election. The last time that happened the average weekly wage was GBP 5 and the average price of a house was GBP 350
About the same as it is likely to be AFTER BREXIT
About the same as it is likely to be AFTER BREXIT
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
STATTS .. Udons biggest REMOANER !!
WE VOTED LEAVE !! .. not half leave ...LEAVE .. deal or no deal and on WTO rules if ness .. thats what it said in the 2016 refo.
WE VOTED LEAVE !! .. not half leave ...LEAVE .. deal or no deal and on WTO rules if ness .. thats what it said in the 2016 refo.
Claret n Blue all way thru .. Up the Iron
L2 Season 19/20 Codheads 0 Scunny 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2qrsItFUug
8 minutes is the point of lift off !!!!!!!
L2 Season 19/20 Codheads 0 Scunny 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2qrsItFUug
8 minutes is the point of lift off !!!!!!!
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
We voted STAY in 1975. not half stay, not change our mind later, not give in when the going got tough ...... twas also the first and only time i've ever voted WITH the toriesDrunk Monkey wrote: ↑November 3, 2019, 7:12 pmSTATTS .. Udons biggest REMOANER !!
WE VOTED LEAVE !! .. not half leave ...LEAVE .. deal or no deal and on WTO rules if ness .. thats what it said in the 2016 refo.
Re: Consolidated Jokes
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Consolidated Jokes
When I was a kid my dad used to tell me to keep my pocket money in a special money box under the stairs I was 15 before I found out it was our gas meter
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
errr wheres all the jokes gone ???
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
OK pannikover found em
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Hopefully you're copying and pasting from the internet 747man. Readers would be hoping one of our more popular posters isn't posting from personal experience.
Lock 'em up - Eastman, Giuliani, Senator Graham, Meadows and Trump
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
Of Course I'm Copying & pasting from 'Tinternet GT,What kind of Guy do you think I Am..??
Meanwhile GT Get back to Yer Sheep.....
Re: Consolidated Jokes
The man who invented predictive text has died.
His funfairs next monkey. May he rust in piss.
His funfairs next monkey. May he rust in piss.