Consolidated Joke Thread
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Liverpool Fans Watching them,Last Time they Won The League !!!
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Re: Consolidated Jokes
Guy is stopped by customs at the airport carrying two large bulky sacks over his shoulder.
They search the sacks and find loads of mobile phones in them.
They ask him why does he have all these phones, and Guy replies, "Well, I was travelling in America and got a call from my friend back in London.
He told me he's starting up a jazz band and could I bring him back two saxaphones."🧐
They search the sacks and find loads of mobile phones in them.
They ask him why does he have all these phones, and Guy replies, "Well, I was travelling in America and got a call from my friend back in London.
He told me he's starting up a jazz band and could I bring him back two saxaphones."🧐
Re: Consolidated Jokes
A doctor got sacked from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...
Which I thought was a little rash🧐
Which I thought was a little rash🧐
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: Consolidated Jokes
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
I'M LIVID🧐🧐🧐
I'M LIVID🧐🧐🧐
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Well it was a good day on Sunday and the London Marathon
Last year I managed a respectable 3 hours 32 mins and 9 seconds
I was very pleased to beat that this year as I didn’t get bored until I turned over to watch the golf🧐🧐🧐🧐
Last year I managed a respectable 3 hours 32 mins and 9 seconds
I was very pleased to beat that this year as I didn’t get bored until I turned over to watch the golf🧐🧐🧐🧐
Re: Consolidated Jokes
Or lesbian
Re: Consolidated Jokes
-Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....
In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....