Consolidated Joke Thread

Post your thoughts here if you are not sure where to post it!
Post Reply
User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 21, 2019, 2:11 pm

D4n1VkQXoAAW_kU.jpg



User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 21, 2019, 2:35 pm

Liverpool Fans Watching them,Last Time they Won The League !!!
D4qNCOsWwAACcct.jpg
.................. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 22, 2019, 7:38 pm

D4s8OrQWAAYdfnB.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 23, 2019, 4:49 pm

D41BfBeW0AAQAoo.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 24, 2019, 4:58 pm

D45ws0nW4AAqlu9.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 24, 2019, 5:55 pm

D42yjGqWwAINKoB.jpg

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » April 24, 2019, 6:26 pm

Guy is stopped by customs at the airport carrying two large bulky sacks over his shoulder.
They search the sacks and find loads of mobile phones in them.
They ask him why does he have all these phones, and Guy replies, "Well, I was travelling in America and got a call from my friend back in London.
He told me he's starting up a jazz band and could I bring him back two saxaphones."🧐🤓😳🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 25, 2019, 11:46 am

D4-O-VTWkAE5tJr.jpg

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » April 25, 2019, 1:15 pm

A doctor got sacked from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...

Which I thought was a little rash🤓🧐😕😳😩😩🤣🤣🤣👍

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 25, 2019, 11:35 pm

D5AwALxXkAUFb3j.jpg

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » April 26, 2019, 12:05 am

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 26, 2019, 12:59 pm

D5Dq4m0UcAAlfvx.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 26, 2019, 3:37 pm

D5A-ctQWAAExsFO.jpg

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » April 27, 2019, 1:36 am

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
I'M LIVID😩😩😩🤓🤓🤓🧐🧐🧐😎😎😎

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 30, 2019, 8:55 pm

D5Z9eQFWkAAJ94U.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » April 30, 2019, 9:41 pm

D5aGTVtWsAAoTSj.jpg

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » April 30, 2019, 11:21 pm

Well it was a good day on Sunday and the London Marathon
Last year I managed a respectable 3 hours 32 mins and 9 seconds
I was very pleased to beat that this year as I didn’t get bored until I turned over to watch the golf😳😩🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🧐🧐🧐🧐🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

User avatar
neeemu
udonmap.com
Posts: 321
Joined: February 13, 2007, 2:53 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by neeemu » May 1, 2019, 1:12 am

747man wrote:
April 30, 2019, 9:41 pm
D5aGTVtWsAAoTSj.jpg
If that picture is related then the gynecologist is very thorough... or male.

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by vidmaster » May 1, 2019, 2:06 am

Or lesbian

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Jokes

Post by 747man » May 2, 2019, 11:18 am

-Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....🤠

Post Reply

Return to “Open Forum”