Consolidated Joke Thread

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747man
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 18, 2021, 2:07 pm

That went wrong Somewhere, I'll post it Again.... :oops: :oops:
Last edited by 747man on August 19, 2021, 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.



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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 18, 2021, 10:06 pm

Got it
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 20, 2021, 11:53 am

I had a job interview today, I was told the wage is £7.00 an hour going up to £15.00 per hour in 3 months,
the guy asked me when can you start?
I replied " in 3 fooking months...

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 20, 2021, 5:37 pm

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 20, 2021, 9:58 pm

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 20, 2021, 10:00 pm

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 20, 2021, 10:02 pm

This One Might be a Little Rude for some of our Younger Readers,LOL !!
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 21, 2021, 5:59 pm

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 22, 2021, 4:50 am

Exactly
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 23, 2021, 8:30 pm

This old lady handed her bank card to the Cashier and said “I would like to withdraw £10 The Cashier told her “for withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.
The old lady wanted to know why... The Cashier returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The Cashier was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have £300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The Cashier told her any amount up to £3000. “Well please let me have £3000 now.” The Cashier kindly handed £3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.
The old lady put £10 in her purse and asked the Cashier to deposit £2990 back into her account.
The moral of this story is....
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 24, 2021, 12:38 pm

Got it
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Re: Interesting Finds on Internet

Post by Barney » August 28, 2021, 2:22 pm

Giggle wrote:Is there anything else we can talk about to avoid the elephant in the room? Heard any good jokes lately?
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipoz4444 » August 29, 2021, 12:08 am

Bill Maher

You either like him or you don't.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DH4v6FnbvM

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 29, 2021, 2:12 pm

Ok
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » August 30, 2021, 1:42 pm

Oooops
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 31, 2021, 10:20 pm

Hmmmm
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » September 1, 2021, 2:24 pm

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Hang On I'll Get Me Coat !!!!!! :lol: :lol:

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » September 2, 2021, 1:03 pm

A couger went into a bar in Austin Tx and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table, he had the biggest boots she had ever seen.
The older lady asked the man " is it true what they say that men with big feet are well endowed?".
The man grinned and said..
"Sure is little lady why don't you come to my apartment and let me prove it to you?".
The lady considered she might never get an offer like this again and was curious to find out for herself so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him $100 bill.blushing he said
"Well thank you I'm really flattered...no one has ever paid me for my 'services 'before!".
"Don't be flattered "she replied" Take the money and buy yourself boots that fit

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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » September 2, 2021, 1:25 pm

Got it
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Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » September 2, 2021, 8:59 pm

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