Consolidated Joke Thread

Post your thoughts here if you are not sure where to post it!
Post Reply
pipadoo
udonmap.com
Posts: 227
Joined: March 12, 2017, 7:25 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by pipadoo » August 13, 2022, 10:14 pm

Nice😌😌😌
Attachments
28812DE9-320F-4CAB-96B8-DEA047DAE17A.jpeg
C16A9A79-8808-4727-9DA5-91DF060D4A34.jpeg



User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 14, 2022, 6:47 pm

Sorry to shout but…
IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT PHONE CALLS, E-MAILS AND TEXTS ABOUT OUR DOGS​:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM!
YES, THEY BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
FIVE PEOPLE WEARING A KIPPAH,
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
EIGHT PEOPLE WEARING LIZ TRUSS T-SHIRTS,
TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,
TWENTY CYCLISTS,
FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,
TWO MORMONS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,
EIGHT UBER DRIVERS,
THREE MUSLIM TAXI DRIVERS,
TWELVE MANCHESTER UNITED FANS,
THREE SAVE THE PLANET NUTTERS,
BUT, FOR THE BLOODY LAST TIME. . .
THESE DOGS ARE NOT FOR SALE!!!!
Thank you for reading.

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 14, 2022, 7:29 pm

FaHMMy2XEAEj7Ao.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 17, 2022, 11:04 am

Are you free for an appointment today?': Specsavers poke fun at Dietmar Hamann as he claims Liverpool forward Darwin Nunez should NOT have been sent off for headbutt because he 'walked into' Joachim Andersen
Darwin Nunez was sent off for Liverpool in 57th minute of Crystal Palace draw
The £85m summer signing is now suspended for three matches for the Reds
Jurgen Klopp's men rescued a point due to Luis Diaz's goal four minutes later
Dietmar Hamann says Nunez was unlucky to see red, prompting Specsavers

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 17, 2022, 3:31 pm

FaWPQ3CXEAEJdtC.jpg
...555 !!

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 18, 2022, 1:30 pm

FaazhMBXkAAG9gy.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 18, 2022, 6:03 pm

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen a £20 note all crumpled up?”
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled £20 note. He took the crumpled £20 from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, “Have you ever seen £50 note all crumpled up?”
“Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties… and pulled out a crumpled £50 note.
He took the crumpled £50 note, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen £50,000 all crumpled up?”
He said “No!”trying to hide his arousal.
She said….. “Check the garage.”

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » August 21, 2022, 12:54 pm

Arghhhh
Attachments
5D6F5054-CC8E-4707-98E4-0F43E0CD145E.jpeg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 21, 2022, 1:26 pm

Scunthorpe 3-0 up after 36 Minutes at Home..And.......LOST 4-3....Now that is a JOKE !!

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » August 21, 2022, 6:20 pm

Not as good a joke as Man U

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » August 21, 2022, 6:20 pm

Not as good a joke as Man U

User avatar
tamada
udonmap.com
Posts: 17213
Joined: February 21, 2007, 4:03 am
Location: Down two...then left

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by tamada » August 21, 2022, 6:24 pm

You can say that again.
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~

'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~

User avatar
tamada
udonmap.com
Posts: 17213
Joined: February 21, 2007, 4:03 am
Location: Down two...then left

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by tamada » August 21, 2022, 6:25 pm

Anyone else noticed that ten Haag's head is the same shape as DM's?

Must have had the same gran, no?
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~

'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 21, 2022, 7:55 pm

FanS_rTWIAI31ip.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 22, 2022, 6:47 pm

Do you need
a current
License to
Drive an
electric car ?

User avatar
vidmaster
udonmap.com
Posts: 1062
Joined: August 18, 2013, 3:15 am

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by vidmaster » August 24, 2022, 11:50 am

That’s a shocking joke

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 24, 2022, 12:00 pm

vidmaster wrote:
August 24, 2022, 11:50 am
That’s a shocking joke
555 !! I See it SHOCKED You into a reply !!

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 24, 2022, 12:02 pm

If You Know, Then You KNOW......
Fa3S3VtXkAIm-qW.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 24, 2022, 12:56 pm

300631699_1532903850556120_112546796364212802_n.jpg

User avatar
747man
udonmap.com
Posts: 15135
Joined: March 25, 2007, 2:22 pm

Re: Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by 747man » August 24, 2022, 4:02 pm

299592388_1246784709414845_266401354128634373_n.jpg

Post Reply

Return to “Open Forum”