Consolidated Joke Thread

[747man]

TRUE Though In'it ??......

[Whistler]

Maybe a tad overstated 747. I see very similar postings for Australia, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, the USA and Canada etc. All are overstatements when looked at at objectively.

If you are considered a refugee you are entitled to a lot of benefits, but only if refugee status is awarded. I could not find anything about 7 years tax free, but I am aware that there is a program to help refugees start their own businesses. Frankly most small businesses make no profit for a few years and any income derived from the business and paid to the owner is subject to income tax.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.u ... ssible.pdf

[747man]

Maybe a tad overstated 747. I see very similar postings for Australia, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, the USA and Canada etc. All are overstatements when looked at at objectively.

If you are considered a refugee you are entitled to a lot of benefits, but only if refugee status is awarded. I could not find anything about 7 years tax free, but I am aware that there is a program to help refugees start their own businesses. Frankly most small businesses make no profit for a few years and any income derived from the business and paid to the owner is subject to income tax.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.u ... ssible.pdf

Maybe a tad overstated 747.....Do YOU Think So ?? When was the last time YOU were in The U.K. ??

[Whistler]

Early 2020, I am not sure policy was adjusted in any respect based on my most recent visit.

[747man]

[747man]

3 Jokes ( Slightly Naughty ) But O.K. For us Adults.....

[747man]

Chubby Again,Talking about His Wife.....

[stattointhailand]

[stattointhailand]

[747man]

A Quick One for an OIRISH Guy...........

Paddy & Murphy stagger out of the zoo covered in blood and clothes ripped to shreds. "Bollocks to that" says Paddy "Who's fuc*ing idea was it to go Lion Dancing....

[Earnest]

[747man]

The owner of the Restaurant said regrettably due to lack of support it looks like the business is
SINKING !!.......

[747man]

SOD IT, LET'S OFFEND EVERYONE!!!
I came out of the chip shop with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power!
*
I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "poles and "Romanian gypsies" were not the correct answers.
*
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said, “Sorry about the wait.”
I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually."
*
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?” I said “No, you're still black”.
*
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!"
*
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?”
The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.
“Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”
The boy replies,“No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.”
*
Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !
*
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.
*
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days, when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus, and think to yourself, "I'm gonna take that!"
*
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him “Where am I ?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, "You can't fool me. You're in that basket up there."

[747man]

Oh ! Chubby, Really........

[stattointhailand]

There cannot possibly be a comedian around who a) has less talent and b) is less funny than Roy Chubby Brown. It beggers belief that he makes a career out of something he has no aptitude for

[747man]

There cannot possibly be a comedian around who a) has less talent and b) is less funny than Roy Chubby Brown. It beggers belief that he makes a career out of something he has no aptitude for

I Believe He Thinks Very Highly of YOU Too,Plus I'll bet he has Made a LOT More Money than YOU,You Really are a Miserable Git Ain't Yer ??

[stattointhailand]

Just dont find him funny ...........lots of comedians ARE funny ......... hes not

[Earnest]

I find Reeves and Mortimer funny; jokes where chaps break wind are especially hilarious.

[Fuzzy Ken]

Oh ! Chubby, Really........

I'm not sure whether he is funny or not, since I have been unable to locate the language on google translate 555

[Whistler]

3rd rate working man's club hack at best