Consolidated Joke Thread
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Sorry to shout but…
IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT PHONE CALLS, E-MAILS AND TEXTS ABOUT OUR DOGS:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM!
YES, THEY BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
FIVE PEOPLE WEARING A KIPPAH,
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
EIGHT PEOPLE WEARING LIZ TRUSS T-SHIRTS,
TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,
TWENTY CYCLISTS,
FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,
TWO MORMONS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,
EIGHT UBER DRIVERS,
THREE MUSLIM TAXI DRIVERS,
TWELVE MANCHESTER UNITED FANS,
THREE SAVE THE PLANET NUTTERS,
BUT, FOR THE BLOODY LAST TIME. . .
THESE DOGS ARE NOT FOR SALE!!!!
Thank you for reading.
IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT PHONE CALLS, E-MAILS AND TEXTS ABOUT OUR DOGS:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM!
YES, THEY BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
FIVE PEOPLE WEARING A KIPPAH,
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
EIGHT PEOPLE WEARING LIZ TRUSS T-SHIRTS,
TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,
TWENTY CYCLISTS,
FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,
TWO MORMONS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,
EIGHT UBER DRIVERS,
THREE MUSLIM TAXI DRIVERS,
TWELVE MANCHESTER UNITED FANS,
THREE SAVE THE PLANET NUTTERS,
BUT, FOR THE BLOODY LAST TIME. . .
THESE DOGS ARE NOT FOR SALE!!!!
Thank you for reading.
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Are you free for an appointment today?': Specsavers poke fun at Dietmar Hamann as he claims Liverpool forward Darwin Nunez should NOT have been sent off for headbutt because he 'walked into' Joachim Andersen
Darwin Nunez was sent off for Liverpool in 57th minute of Crystal Palace draw
The £85m summer signing is now suspended for three matches for the Reds
Jurgen Klopp's men rescued a point due to Luis Diaz's goal four minutes later
Dietmar Hamann says Nunez was unlucky to see red, prompting Specsavers
Darwin Nunez was sent off for Liverpool in 57th minute of Crystal Palace draw
The £85m summer signing is now suspended for three matches for the Reds
Jurgen Klopp's men rescued a point due to Luis Diaz's goal four minutes later
Dietmar Hamann says Nunez was unlucky to see red, prompting Specsavers
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
...555 !!
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen a £20 note all crumpled up?”
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled £20 note. He took the crumpled £20 from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, “Have you ever seen £50 note all crumpled up?”
“Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties… and pulled out a crumpled £50 note.
He took the crumpled £50 note, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen £50,000 all crumpled up?”
He said “No!”trying to hide his arousal.
She said….. “Check the garage.”
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled £20 note. He took the crumpled £20 from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, “Have you ever seen £50 note all crumpled up?”
“Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties… and pulled out a crumpled £50 note.
He took the crumpled £50 note, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen £50,000 all crumpled up?”
He said “No!”trying to hide his arousal.
She said….. “Check the garage.”
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Scunthorpe 3-0 up after 36 Minutes at Home..And.......LOST 4-3....Now that is a JOKE !!
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Not as good a joke as Man U
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Not as good a joke as Man U
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
You can say that again.
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Anyone else noticed that ten Haag's head is the same shape as DM's?
Must have had the same gran, no?
Must have had the same gran, no?
'Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence'
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
~Reinhold Messner~
'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
~Louise Perica~
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
Do you need
a current
License to
Drive an
electric car ?
a current
License to
Drive an
electric car ?
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
That’s a shocking joke
Re: Consolidated Joke Thread
If You Know, Then You KNOW......