Consolidated Joke Thread

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farang
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Consolidated Joke Thread

Post by farang » April 27, 2006, 12:47 am

How much of a jerk are you?

http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/jerk.html

mine was.....

Results of "The Test"
How much of a jerk are you?

Your score = 60






What does your score mean?
While you're not yet up in the ranks of Andrew Dice Clay, you're getting dangerously close. Some of your answers were, to say the least, not very gentlemanly. In some situations, you showed a sense of common decency and respect. In others, however, you were one lowdown snake in the grass. Either you have a bad boy streak that flares up from time to time or you've now outgrown your ungentlemanly ways and evolved into a decent, respectful guy. If your nasty behavior is a present day phenomena, however, a word of caution; you're playing with fire! What goes around comes around. :lol:


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Post by farang » April 27, 2006, 2:43 am

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 97&pl=true

if the vid keeps stoping let it run for a few mins then move the play slider at the bottom of the screen back to the start and it will play just fine..
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BangkokButcher
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Post by BangkokButcher » April 27, 2006, 3:44 am

You aint gonna tell me that the video was made on a Honda Wave I hope, that guy was a damn loony...

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Alagrl
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Jokes (take 3)

Post by Alagrl » April 28, 2006, 2:11 am

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said,

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Post by farang » May 1, 2006, 11:20 am

Why are pirates called pirates?


'cos they aaarrrghhhhh.


and they thought comedy was dead.
:lol:
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Post by farang » May 2, 2006, 7:11 pm

A man staggers into Accident and Emergency with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.
We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's bum". "That's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail again and shouted to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!" "I don't remember much after that!"

:lol:
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Post by banpaeng » May 2, 2006, 8:25 pm

Subject: Beer, Fishing, Golf and Sex



>
> A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a
> particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a
> couple of dollars for dinner.
> The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
> give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of
dinner?"
> "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
> "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
> "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to
> spend all my time trying to stay alive."
> "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?"
> the man asked.
> "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
> years!"
> "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead
> of food?" the man asked.
> "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless
> man.
> "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
> I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
> The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you
> for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
> disgusting."
> The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a
man
> looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
>

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Post by farang » May 2, 2006, 9:06 pm

lol Brian :lol: like that one =D>

here`s one that made me chuckle kinda fits in with your last joke http://www.pwwhite.com/mansong.swf
Image
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Post by farang » May 2, 2006, 11:53 pm

A girl goes into confessional kneels down and says " Forgive me father for I have sinned". "In what way have you sinned ?" Asks the priest. "I am guilty of vanity, I look in the mirror several times a day and remark to myself how beautiful I am".The priest looks round the curtain and says.
"My Dear child you have not sinned. Just made an honest mistake.
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Paul
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Post by Paul » May 3, 2006, 12:26 am

farang wrote:lol Brian :lol: like that one =D>

here`s one that made me chuckle kinda fits in with your last joke http://www.pwwhite.com/mansong.swf
Image
Cliff Cliff ! _ You da man :):):)

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Post by farang » May 3, 2006, 1:19 am

LOL lol LOL :lol:
Image
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Post by farang » May 4, 2006, 11:21 pm

What's a Thai girls favourite wine?

Tilac i need money.
:roll: lol
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Post by farang » May 4, 2006, 11:36 pm

I told my doctor I wanted a vasectomy. He said with a face like yours, you don't need one. :shock:
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Post by jingjai » May 5, 2006, 2:00 pm

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We
lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we
used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be
interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic."
Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now.
I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"
She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.
"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me,
saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still
be a
great lover.
Anyway," she giggled, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
So I told her to f**k off.

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beer monkey
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Post by beer monkey » May 6, 2006, 9:07 pm

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,

"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch member, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound
right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and
starts shaking him. The big guy says, "What's
Can You Dig It Dug.?

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Garnet
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Google?

Post by Garnet » May 7, 2006, 10:34 am

Image
Garnet & Jack

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Garnet
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Truth?

Post by Garnet » May 7, 2006, 10:36 am

Image
Garnet & Jack

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Garnet
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After the Forum Meet?

Post by Garnet » May 7, 2006, 10:51 am

Ahh, the good times! Another Forum meet put to rest?

http://www.postcrap.net/postcrap.net/me ... ission.wmv
Garnet & Jack

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Re: After the Forum Meet?

Post by farang » May 7, 2006, 2:41 pm

Garnet wrote:Ahh, the good times! Another Forum meet put to rest?

http://www.postcrap.net/postcrap.net/me ... ission.wmv
lol :lol: ,got some funny stuff on there garnet,nice one mate =D>

and heres a bit of camel toe lol
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Garnet
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Merci!

Post by Garnet » May 9, 2006, 9:40 am

Why, thank you, Mr. farang! I rather thought that I was on a roll there!
Garnet & Jack

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